honkiehow

Moving On

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 16:36:07 GMT

想著你的温柔
它提醒了我自己
因为你的鼓励
我从此更努力
因为你的真心
我失败了不会灰心
我因为你因为爱
坚强我自己
你用毅力勇气
耐心等候了多年
你给我的信心
坚定我的方向
我的退缩放弃
你一次又一次承受打击
你因为我因为爱
坚强你自己
也是就因为这样
我们会更珍惜自己
经过了过去的疼痛
更明白如何继续
也是就因为这样
我们会更珍惜自己
因为是爱因为真心
因为未来的日子
每一个清晨梦醒有你
陪我患难的也是你
开心时一同欢笑
受伤时携手共度
每一个晴天雨天有你
夜里轻语的也是你
成功时一同享有
失意时我们坦然去面对
只因为有了爱有了爱
有了爱

色即是空，空即是色

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 16:56:11 GMT

NKF

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 04:32:33 GMT

Haven't been catching up on news lately, but the NKF lawsuit fiasco was really begging for attention on the headlines.

I don't have much scruples about the CEO's pay per se. (it is after all comparable to what other CEOs are getting, percentage-wise. And...I've stopped regarding it as an NPO, the moment I ceased my monthly donations some years back.) But I have to cry out against the (1) bloody gold tap, (2) lack of transperency, and (3) their (or his) deliberate concealment. And he had the nerve to sue the good people who saw travesty of justice in his flying first-class. Still, very inexplicably- the last I heard, NKF is still backing the CEO. That looks a lot like public suicide... but why?

But that is not my point. We get so embroiled in the heat of injustice, we forget who are the biggest victims here. Not the donors, nor the foundation, but their human beneficiaries- the patients. Cancer treatment/Kidney dialysis is painful and costly (trust me, I should know), and NKF does alleviate the patients' financial burdens, although they are doing a terrible job of it. So even if you should choose to boycott the organization, remember not to boycott their patients. I don't have a solution to the resulting moral conundrums (such as this), but remember that even if things screwed up along the way, the foundation was first conceived with the notion of charity.

Find more deserving places to put your money, and your love. There are plenty of such organizations out there. Ask me if you don't already know.

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 03:58:18 GMT

someday,
even poets
must stop
writing.

those who fall
must fly,
or end up
crashing.

and the
brightest star
will one day
burn itself up
to find
sweet death waiting-

for you
and for me.

To H

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 18:54:55 GMT

I know the pain you must feel. But what good advice can I offer, if fallen leaves still clutter my backyard?

You believe in God- a far-flung concept to me now. Because you believe, I know these songs will bring you solace. And I carry the same wishes of the friend who sent me the songs- may they tide you through your darker moments.

Calling all Angels- Jane Siberry

Santa Maria, Santa Teresa, Santa Anna, Santa Susannah
Santa Cecilia, Santa Copelia, Santa Domenica, Mary Angelica
Frater Achad, Frater Pietro, Julianus, Petronilla
Santa, Santos, Miroslaw, Vladimir
and all the rest

a man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
and high above the church bells start to ring
and as the heaviness oh the heaviness the body settles in
somewhere you can hear a mother sing

then it's one foot then the other as you step out on the road
step out on the road - how much weight? how much?
then it's how long? and how far?
and how many times before it's too late?

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
calling all angels
calling all angels
we're tryin' and we're hopin'
and we're not sure how...

and every day you gaze upon the sunset
with such love and intensity
why, it's almost...it's almost as if
if you could only crack the code
then you'd finally understand what this all means

ah, but if you could...do you think you would
trade in all - all the pain and suffering?
ah, but then you'd miss
the beauty of the light upon this earth
and the sweetness of the leaving (believing?)

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
callin' all angels
callin' all angels
we're tryin'
we're hopin'
we're hurtin'
we're lovin'
we're cryin'
we're callin'
'cause we're not sure how this goes

The Valley- Jane Siberry

i live in the hills
you live in the valleys
and all that you know are those blackbirds
you rise every morning
wondering what in the world will the world bring today
will it bring you joy or will it take it away
and though you trust the light that starts the day
your love of the light on the land and the blackbirds collide
you will walk in good company

the valley is dark
the burgeoning holding
the stillness obscured by their judging
you walk through the shadows
uncertain and surely hurting
deserted by the blackbirds and the staccato of the staff
and though you trust the light towards which you wend your way
sometimes you feel all that you wanted has been taken away
you will walk in good company

i love the best of you
you love the best of me
though it is not always easy
are you lovely? lonely?
we will walk in good company

the shepherd upright and flowing
you'll see

Botero and the Security Guard

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 16:05:47 GMT

To the Indian female security guard who looked like she just walked out of a Botero painting (walking still-life, I do not kid you!)- thank you very much. I haven't been amused like this for ages. And I apologise for my covert attempts to take a picture of you to prove my point, to which you responded, "Sorry lah Sir, no pictures allowed". I hope you'll never find out that my obsession wasn't with the paintings, but with you.

(For the uninitiated- Botero in Singapore. Russell Wong's photo exhibition just opened today as well. Definitely worth paying a visit, free admission on Fris after 6pm.)

摆渡人的歌

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 07:21:40 GMT

Thanks to T, I'm holding onto 周华健's 小天堂 (which we purchased together seven years ago). Hopelessly smitten with this song now-摆渡人的歌. The imagery of a solitary boatman moving towards the harbour is hauntingly beautiful, and the new orchestral arrangment played out by a string quartet just reinforces the image that manages to be both brooding yet cold and detached at the same time. Reminded me of this painting I saw at the Alte Nationalgalerie in Berlin earlier in the year. Apparently the Swiss painter Bocklin never gave it a name, fearing that would inhibit the range of opinions and emotions evoked in the viewers. But the art dealer sold it under the name "The Isle of the Dead"- which is how I see it as now.

<摆渡人的歌>

黎明冉冉苏醒尘雾中
他慢慢走来
就在流水当中摇桨把
又一天划开
一种冷冷的声音
在他的船头响了起来
似乎水的呜咽

晚霞渐渐昏暗暮色里
他将要离开
他将渡船靠岸收拾起
往来的寂寞
一种冷冷的声音
在他的脑海响了起来
像水的呜咽

有人因为流浪到渡口
有人思念靠不到岸
有人不能忘情于繁华中
有人日复一日赶著同样的梦

于是摆渡人的歌
遗忘在渡口的流转之间
而那些人们都醉了
没有人还能够单独醒著

And the Year Opens

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 15:18:06 GMT

After a semester's tussle with tedious coding, vile and loathsome mathematical formulae and the likes, it was a just respite to be able to read again. By that I mean delving into a fictional world whose characters you have little connection to, but can still keenly identify with fragments of their existence, their whims, their joys, their pain and the host of other emotions that shackle them. Stewart's Multivariable Calculus 5th edition or the utterly incomprehensible Probability by that-Berkeley-professor-who-should-be-barred-from-penning-textbooks-for-now-to-eternity does not qualify as reading.

It's almost as though I was forced to revisit places I had wished to put behind me from the moment I boarded the plane. Three consecutive viewings of Before Sunset brought me back to the charming River Seine. And almost masochistically, my rushed purchase of the VCD of its prequel Before Sunrise had me relive the nights spent on the empty Viennese streets illuminated by the soft warm glows of its nightlights, together with its resident memories. More drubbing ensued with Carhart's The Piano Shop on the Left Bank (with such faithful descriptions of Paris) and most recently savoured (in half pain and half sweet remembrance), Vikram Seth's An Equal Music which had my thoughts travel from London to Vienna and finally culminating in Venice- San Marco, San Polo, Murano, and ah yes, Lido and its pristine beaches. A book about music and a love lost, found and lost again became more of an architectural digest for me.

And I ask myself what I've gained in the past couple of months, if any at all, and my answer is this- now when I read about a man lost in thoughts, staring fixedly at the water of the Serpentine, I sense how bleak and empty his world is, I know of how it must have been a bitter separation, and he was sitting at the water thinking, brooding, really- of her. To my friends who read this, it's been a while, and yes I'm back.

"Music, such music, is a sufficient gift. Why ask for happiness; why hope not to grieve? It is enough, it is to be blessed enough to live from day to day and to hear such music- not too much, or the soul could not sustain it- from time to time."

--An Equal Music, Vikram Seth