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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
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| Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 |
titu5
|
1:28p |
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leejean
|
8:09a |
I woke up this morning dreaming I was in your bed with you. Your lips were curved in smile, your eyes half-closed, your fingers playing with my hair. The warmth of your body all enveloping. My bed seemed unbearably vast and the room cold. I felt bereft. |
| Sunday, December 27th, 2009 |
leejean
|
5:36p |
 Christmas Day was wet and cold and depressing. Boxing Day was also wet and cold but slightly more happening. Skipped gym today and slept the whole morning. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? |
| Saturday, December 26th, 2009 |
leejean
|
5:00p |
I live in hope
I suspect it'd be easier if I'm just looking for sex.
Oh well. |
miak
|
7:29a |
a Christmas story
He came by, like many that night. He sat outside for quite a while, and did not come in. He was afraid. Ashamed perhaps, of who he was. He was poor, he had little to give – not like the others, who brought gold, frankincense, and myrrh. The little boy was clearly different – he was in tatters and had no shoes on. Some of those present wondered why a dirty little boy was even there amongst them. Some considered him unclean, some considered him unworthy. And so while everyone was lining up to see the newborn child, he sat outside in the cold. I asked them to bring him in, and they all gave me a look, as if I was mad. I asked a second time, and someone did fetch for him. He stood looking at the newborn, and turned and looked at me. I remember his eyes – they were sad, and I could almost see his pain and hurt in them. It was as if even he didn’t love himself. He stood some distance from the newborn, afraid to come closer. I waved for him to come forward, and he hesitantly took a step forward. I gestured towards the manger, and smiled at him. Tears stream from his eyes as he came forward, and he knelt before the newborn child. He looked at me again, and he started playing on his drum. He played his best, and I smiled at him. He said, “I have nothing to give but this.” And I told him “It is your everything, and that is what that matters.” |
| Thursday, December 24th, 2009 |
miak
|
2:47p |
once you see, you cannot unsee
once we learn now to have a critical eye, we cannot go back and "unsee" things. like watching Avatar. it was a great film, but i could understand why Annalee Newitz described it as "the latest scifi rehash of an old white guilt fantasy" in her review. once we learn more about racism, colonialism, and post-colonialism, we see more nuances. so, unable to sleep, i read the papers that was delivered this morning. the headline read "Singapore a magnet for new drug trials" as if it is a good thing. the reports highlights a case that "trial saved his life, cancer now stable." i wonder how many other people were on medical trials and the trial did not save their lives and maybe even worsened their condition? pharmaceuticals are not drawn here because of "high medical standards". they are drawn here because they don't get sued their asses off by patients. arguably, we need to have drugs tested before any product goes into the market. the testing in Singapore is probably conducted in a better way than the clinical trials done in less developed countries. but still, i see propaganda, propaganda, propaganda. brainwash the people, so we become a docile nation of guinea pigs. |
miak
|
11:55a |
unconditional love
i couldn't sleep, so i placed the dvd just shipped from Hong Kong. bad move. the opening prologue was about the protagonist's relationship with his grandmother. and it's in cantonese. it reminded me of a conversation (seminary is where lots of amazing conversations happen). all of us should have someone in our lives who loves us unconditionally. that no matter what we do, they love us just the same. that, perhaps, is the anchor of our lives. that, perhaps, is what keeps us sane. the question is - are we able to love unconditionally too? |
miak
|
9:53a |
back in SIN
i have arrived safely just past midnight... quite a strange feeling to be back. my sony-ericsson phone's battery just died (as in cannot be resurrected) so there goes all my Singapore contacts. in the meantime, dear friends, sms me at 98423515 and let me add you back on my other phone. |
littleprince
|
12:05a |
|
| Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009 |
minddance
|
9:16p |
yoga lessons
It was a nice experience to be able to do yoga in Hong kong. I showed them my pure yoga singapore membership and the HK manager allowed me to join a few lessons for free. The receptionists actually wanted to charge me. It is always better to talk to people who can make decisions. The teacher knew I am from Singapore so he made an effort to teach in English. Then he finally asked, will everyone understand if he spoke cantonese. I nodded. Actually he was looking at me when he asked that question. It was interesting to see how he explained in Cantonese: it worked my mind quite abit. Today, out of curiousity, I attended a Kundalini Yoga class. It was a shock of my life. I could teach better than that bimbo, dumb blonde. First, we (onli 4 people in the class) were made to chant sth. Then we did a few squats. Then we did some bouncing up and down like a frog (for "lower spinal alignment", but it looked sillier than frogs coz we were holding our legs and we were bouncing our butts on the spot. The teacher commented that Kundalini yoga is quite unlike other types of yoga. I began to see why. She said it must have been quite tiring doing all these and made us do a corpse pose for 15 mins. Fine. After 15 mins, we meditated to the sounds of gongs for 15 mins (for "subconcious liberation"). Fine. Then we had a sing-along session. We sang to an mp3 track on her iPod. And then go home. Fine. An auntie actualli smiled at me and said "how relaxing!" And I could feel it from her heart. I saw her grin from ear to ear. Quasi-frog bounces on the spot, 15 mins of mindless, unguided "meditation", extended corpse pose, karaoke sing-along. How relaxing :) Maybe yoga can be simpler. Maybe life could be simpler too. *shrugz* |
miak
|
12:26a |
final inventory check
one final round of inventory check before i go to bed. i'll be home soon. i won't be back till the wee hours of Christmas day, so wishing everyone a blessed Christmas. i heard this in a sermon on Sunday - we hope for dreams that can come true. not some far fetched dream or idea. hope is for something we know can come true. that is the essence of hope. in this season of hope, may we dream of peace - not just the absence of conflict but shalom - peace and wholeness, and 和平 - peace and harmony. may we look forward to that day, knowing that it can and will come. so shalom on Earth, and goodwill to all humankind. |
leejean
|
2:58p |
|
leejean
|
1:52p |
For the first time ever, I feel irritated when you called me sexy and an angel. For the first time ever, I wonder whether they're just words to you. I guess this is the real beginning to the end. |
| Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009 |
miak
|
2:56p |
|
miak
|
12:05p |
query
does anyone knows any fancy smancy place for dinner in taipei to bring my parents for their wedding anniversary? |
miak
|
11:29a |
consumerism and gift-giving
礼轻情义重 while i am one who is mindful of how consumerism dominates our psyche, how we sometimes substitute physical presents for actual presence and gifts for relationship, i am also aware that sometimes we need tangible things to remind ourselves of the embodiment of our relationships and our connections with one another. i am grateful for the condolence card that crossed the pacific ocean that was the tangible reality of friendship, love and solidarity in the time i needed it most; i am thankful for the gifts that remind me of people on the other side of the planet. these are the gifts that are worth their weight in gold, and a thoughtful gift is worth a dozen mugs/ calendars / photo frames / anything given for the sake of giving. |
titu5
|
1:02a |
simple
i trail the internet in search of something to fill the void. something i know i will not find. anything found is just a temporary high. i know all the theory, but can i do the practical? to be happy is simple. the hard thing is keeping it simple. |
leejean
|
12:59a |
work hazards
Out of the blue, A1 said, "My birthday today!" Before I could say "Happy Birthday", he continued,"I want you!" with what I can only assume was what he thought of as his come-hither look. Maybe he's pulling my leg. Maybe he'd been drinking at the party he attended before he came over. I was at a loss how to respond so I just moved away. *** About a year before, also out of the blue, A2 said,"I want you for my bf." I was not sure whether he's pulling my leg. But I was sure he'd not been drinking. I was at a loss how to respond so I pretend I didn't hear. *** Both were work occasions. The difference being one year ago, other colleagues were egging on A2 while this time around, if they hear A1, the colleagues didn't react that I noticed. Am I suppose to be flattered by the attention? If A1 and A2 are totally my type, would I react differently? Why do I find it so hard to toggle between work mode and play mode? |
| Monday, December 21st, 2009 |
leejean
|
3:15p |
humid Singapore
 It's not my habit to hang around at the club making small talks with other members. I spend at most 2 hours with cardio, preliminary stretching, free weights, more stretching, a quick rinse in the shower, then I'm off. Yesterday, I tried to change that. I think partly because of the talk with Rass at Play on Saturday night. He said he mostly take classes and socialize afterwards. Partly because the chap looked interesting. He has this scar like a huge centipede crawling down the right hip. Turned out he has had hip replacement surgery. He said he's back to normal, the hip feels the same although he has lots of metal in there. It reminds me of the joke of a chap setting off metal detectors in airport and I mentioned that. He agreed that he always had to go through thorough search whenever he flies. We were talking in the locker room, at the first section with lockers on three side, with the fourth side open to the corridor where at any moment anyone could have come upon us. I was almost done dressing up. He was still stripping down. He took his sweet time undressing, hesitated a while before stripping off his very skimpy underwear, took the towel and spread it behind his butts as if he's going to wrap it around his waist, except he did not. Looking at his face alone, I'd say he's over 50. But his hair are jet black, including the hair on his chest and belly and around his cock. He is tall and has a nice build. As we were standing about 2m apart with the low benches between us I could easily see he was getting an erection. After a while, he wrapped the towel around his waist and went into the shower area but came out again seconds later. He opened his locker, closed it back without taking anything out or putting anything in, turned to me and took off his towel again. He explained that he thought he didn't have the small towel, but actually he already has it over one shoulder. Which, strictly speaking, was neither here nor there. Also there's no reason to take off the towel around his waist. I could only assume it was to display his erected cock, which was very red and has bulging veins. After a while, he wrapped the towel back around his waist and one more time went inside the shower area. |
| Sunday, December 20th, 2009 |
miak
|
10:39p |
thought of the day
some people travel to see the world, some people travel and bring their world with them. |
miak
|
6:00p |
|
miak
|
5:54p |
thought of the day
perhaps what makes a Christian community Christian is not its beliefs but its attempt to try and bring God's Kindom on earth. (and i use Kin-dom, the family of God, rather than Kingdom to differentiate from the idea of Christendom). |
miak
|
2:42p |
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miak
|
2:27a |
|
miak
|
2:24a |
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